More of my story

My down fall, Well we moved to tx, the house was some people were nice.I mainly stayed to myself, No friends.
I took care of the house, kids, everything.anything important for the two boys I had to handle it,their father didn't want to deal with things.Anything that happened with school,I was sent to deal with it and although I did agree with the school because I knew how these kids were,their father wanted me to get them out of trouble.
It was a never ending night mare.the middle kid could start with me while his father was gone and when he'd walk into the door he'd see me raising my voice to the kid for cursing me or trying to raise a hand to me and the child lie and say"i wasn't doing anything she just yelled at me",I couldn't win.
The oldest kid decided one day to whip me with a phone wire leaving a sore on my arm,he destroyed the house,pouring bleach all over the place including on my sons blanket, thank goodness he was in my arms then.This kid was mad at the fact I was going to call my friend donna who was a cop and looked out for me.He punched his brother because both fought,I ran and had the cop called,I did the hardest thing,I pressed charges and the eldest who was 14 was locked up for ten days in juvi.
Instead of his father whom told me"call the police when they get out of hand" being on my side,he simply said"are you happy now, you got rid of him".I wasn't happy by no means,I was upset because he turned his back on me, he was suppose to be my protector,instead he took his kids sides all the time even after he was told things by his father and stepmother and still didn't believe it was true that somehow"I had something to do with it or I was a liar",which ever the fact was,I never changed my stories nor lied,the cops knew, heck they were at my house at least 70 times because of them.
So here I am in probation office,I told the PO what happened and we had to call a lawyer for the kid,I wanted him there till he was at least 18,he needed to learn how to treat women and show respect to them but that never happened,there was no justice for me.The lawyer he had I wished he could of been a fly on the wall in my house to see this kid can play people like a fiddle and I might add his brother was good at it too.
He had to serve the ten days and got 1 yr probation,I was not happy.He got his brother to abuse me instead because if he layed one hand on me he'd be locked up again.This didn't stop him or his brother for being pigs in frount of me or my son,this didn't stop him or his brother for useing curse words and calling me nasty names,instead he would command his brother to do his deed for him anything to get rid of me.
One night i was bathing my son, the middle kid tried blocking me to get out the bathroom,I asked him to move and his father was right in the living room,he wouldn't so I went to walk over him and get him out of my way,he hauled off and punched me,I was in tears, his father said"well he said you pushed him ,you deserved to be hit"I was so depressed by then.
Their father was no prize either, he'd yell all the time,he'd belittled me in frount of them and this gave them cause to treat me any way they wanted.The kids never cleaned up after their dogs and he stepped in a mess,he sat and said soemthing and threw the tissue paper with dog mess on me demanding me to clean it up.
"Go a head call the police they won't believe you there's no law that say's I can't whip my step mother or beat her, dad won't believe you,he knows your a liar"this was all I heard on top of other things, My sister in law and I came up with an idea,call her house and let the answearing machine pick up recording when the harrassed me,this went on for a yr,she heard them kicking my bedroom door in, she heard the nasty things they said,she heard the eldest ring leader saying horrible things, kicking, punching my door in non stop,I had rug burns trying to keep the door shut,one time they held me on the bed so i couldn't leave my house, my in laws were affraid they'd try and rape me because of the way they were.
I went to a womens shelter for help,at first it was a dark moment for me, my poor son cried but he adjusted well,me I was in a state.I was affraid that they'd find me,thats always the first thought "oh my God they'll see me,they'll snatch my son",then I was able to talk to the workers there,I had a few couselors whom I spoke with and went to some classes,I was required to go to a few each week.I leanred I was a human being first,the legal aid people determined after reading my documented journal and other things,this was abuse for sure.Because these two were minors,only chance of me seeing justice was them being in juvi hall till they were 18,their father on the other hand might of had to face the responsibility of taking their down fall since he refused to listen nor protect me.
I made some friends,I wasn't there to judge we were all there for the same reason.I sat in a class where they showed a movie of man treating his wife such as my former step kids treated me when their dad wasn't around and I cried,I cried and broke down,they had to hold me,I shook,I said"thats how I was treated and I was called those names".I walked out and many people asked me if I was alright,I just nodded.
when asked where I was,their father would say"if shes not back by fri I'll file for divorce"everyone couldn't believe, here your wife is missing, you have no idea where she is and you don't look for her at all,thats real nice.
I came back to work things out,I was told later by those kids"dad thinks your lying about the shelter ,you were probley sling around",oh they said all kinds of things,I had no say in anything anymore,I was depressed,I lost alot of weight,I was 89 lbs,i looked horrible,I could see my bones through my skin.
So I decided,I'd get an apartment in town, ask my family for some money and just go,I paided the deposit and my application fee and I was in,It was a nice one bedroom apartment, nobody bothered me, it was big enough for my son and I.The day i was going to leave, the eldest said"dad tell joanne stop useing your money for an apartment"I was PO'd,I said"i didn't use your money my parents helped me" he asked me if I was moving out I said"yes",well he blew up"then get your sh and leave, don't come back",I said"fine".My friends family came and help me load what i could in the cars, the police showed up, the cop knew this was for the better,the eldest one smirked"hahaha I got dad to kick you out",everytime I tried packing ,the kid call my son to come to him,little did he know his PO show up, the middle kid cursed and whined I was taking my son,I went to that Po and said"you people have been fooled, that kid has fooled all the couselors,he's played you like a fiddle, he's had his brother do the dirty work for him and I got no say in anything,I can't even go speak to the family counselor because the kid tries to get his dad to not allow me to go,wheres the justice for me"?He just looked dumb founded.The cop tried talking to them all but he was told to leave, he did tell him the kids were liars,that they have gotten calls and complaints of what they've done and your wife is being unfairly treated, their father told the cop"I want her off my prooperty now, this is her fault etc".
Once in the aparatment,I could do what i wanted, first i unpacked alittle,I was crying alot,the landlords here very nice to me and my son,i can't say nothing bad.They treated us like human beings.I was so affraid,that they'd try and harrasse me,I had a court order of protection placed on them to stay away and a paper that they couldn't come on property.First thing I did was get some food,things my son needed.I then went to a center for absued women{one piece of advise if your state or city offers you resources, use them,they do help},I showed them my book,signed some papers,they helepd me with legal aid,they helped me with clothing because all i took was what I could get,they helped with food,bathroom things like soap and shampoo, toys for my son,we had nothing really,I was starting on my own.
I applyed for food stamps{like i said if you need it, use it},I got that,then I had to find a job which was next to impossible because I don't drive,i walk alot but don't drive.I took care of my son, he came first,I came last.
The first night in our apartment,I blocked the doors with boxes and suit cases,anything heavy to keep them out,I had nightmares and cried,this went one for weeks.I found out later I suffer ptsd,post stress disorder, it's very common in any case of violence.I went to a couselor and talked,she became my friend and guided me as well.When I had to go to court,I was mad, the same people who saw what these kids did to me also turned their backs except donna,my in laws refused to take the stand for me, the one cop refused,thats nice here these people who protected me and who came to my aid refused, i lost repsect for them.I would of taken a stand for them if I had to,I would of stuck up for them.More later.....